By Featured
Fear often silences our questions at work, leaving us adrift in uncertainty, and often reduces productivity. But what if you could unlock a healthier, vibrant work atmosphere by becoming more proficient with inquiry?
Forget the whispers of “incompetent” or “uninformed.” Asking questions isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s a cornerstone of effective communication and professional development. As Dimitry Graf, an experienced engineering leader, emphasizes, “Your manager expects you to ask them.” Your questions pave the way for transparency and accurate execution, ensuring you deliver your best work.
Cultivate curiosity, as Matt Saunders, a freelance business coach, suggests. When curiosity becomes your default mode, questions flow naturally, and the fear of “sounding stupid” dissipates. Remember, situations are often improved by sharing knowledge between coworkers.
Beyond external factors, Erin Gray, founder of Generate A Life Well Lived, encourages self-exploration. Identify the source of your fear. Is it a childhood experience, or a perceived expectation of perfection? Acknowledge it with compassion and practice asking, even when nervous.
Remember, the only way through fear is consistent, intentional practice, and each act of courage builds confidence. Dive in and discover how to shift your beliefs, navigate workplace dynamics, and unleash the power of questions.
Embrace questions as expected communication
People often refrain from asking questions at work out of fear of looking incompetent or not paying attention. Another common reason some people avoid asking questions is the fear of being a bother to colleagues or their manager. I understand these fears, but I can assure you that asking questions is not just acceptable; your manager actually expects you to ask them.
I’m speaking here from the perspective of a manager with over 10 years of experience in companies with up to 4,000 employees. I’ve also managed multimillion-dollar projects across various industries with teams of over 100 people. The success of those projects was closely tied to transparent, timely communication, which is only achievable if you ask questions.
Once you realize this fact, the fear of asking questions will go away. You do need to master the way you ask them, though. Avoid emotionally charged questions, check if the question has already been answered (knowledge base, etc.), and use open-ended questions.
Dimitri Graf, engineering and software management leader, Canonical
Cultivate curiosity
What is stopping you from asking a question? Generally, it is the fear of being judged, or being seen as “stupid.” I used to let this hold me back in meetings all the time. My desire to impress by seeming like I knew it all ironically meant that things were often missed, and I underperformed.
Then I trained as a coach and learned to get curious. When your default mode is “curiosity,” inquiry becomes so much more natural. Eventually, there’s no such thing as a silly question, and the fear gives way to simply a great conversation.
Moreover, people generally love being asked questions about themselves, their projects, or their business. So lean in. It’ll help you create better relationships and do more effective work. Don’t let your fears block your or your team’s progress!
Matt Saunders, freelance business coach, Matt Saunders Coaching
Create a supportive environment
Feel free to ask if your work environment is open to asking questions. Many people hesitate because they tried once and didn’t receive a proper response. But the right environment will give you the openness to speak up. Your question may help someone who still doesn’t believe they have a voice. You can serve as an example and help someone else feel comfortable asking questions in the future.
I gain clarity from my experiences as a former HR professional, employee trainer, and coach by asking questions. It’s how I learn and help others learn. Questions indicate that you want to know what to do in detail before you deliver your best work. Asking questions shows your courage, and no one becomes confident without having the courage to speak up.
Asking questions helps you build strong connections with your team and manager. It shows that you respect their time and want to get all the information you need before you support them. It cultivates a learning mindset, even if you are an experienced professional. Your courage to ask questions creates a supportive and collaborative work environment and opens doors for others to ask questions.
Before you ask questions, do a little research. You should ask questions based on information you already have that needs clarification or something that may be missing. If you have material to read, look for answers in documentation, resources, or previous communications. This way, your questions become more focused, and you’ll gain more confidence.
If the person is overwhelmed, ask a question when they seem calmer. You can also ask for a convenient time to discuss your queries.
Ana Goehner, career strategist and well-being expert, Digital Butterfly Communications, LLC
Teach yourself to feel safe
When we are afraid to ask questions, whether at work, among friends, at home, etc., this is potentially coming from a place where we do not feel safe in our bodies to do so. We are experiencing the fight/flight/freeze/fawn response.
Many of us as children realized that when we said something or asked a question that someone (typically a parent or caregiver) didn’t like, and they became angry, frustrated, or upset, we might have had love and/or money withheld and possibly were reprimanded by physical and/or verbal actions in order to get us to conform. This taught our bodies that it isn’t safe to question authority.
So, in the beginning, when we want to work through this fear of asking questions at work, we must first teach ourselves that we are no longer in that pattern as a child anymore and that we are safe now. We do this by telling ourselves this very thing, showing compassion for the child that was probably terrified to ask questions when they were younger because they were met with extreme consequences.
Then, we can start asking questions at work even when we are scared. The practice is to teach the body that you can feel the emotion of being afraid and still take action and that you will be okay. I would recommend a couple of things for the reader to start with and see what feels good for them (in their bodies).
The only way out of fear is through. The more we take action, the more we show our brains and bodies that we are okay and that we didn’t die, and the more evidence we give to our minds/bodies that we are safe, in this moment.
Erin Gray, founder, Generate A Life Well Lived
Realize the potential to fuel professional growth
My fear of asking questions at work used to stem from the fear of looking stupid. I didn’t want people to think that I didn’t know what I was doing or didn’t deserve the job that I had, and that meant, when there was something I didn’t know, I had to go the long way around to find out how to do that thing—or I made a mistake which ended up costing my reputation or delaying things further.
The turning point for me was when the CEO of the company I was working for at the time asked me a question about how to do something. It made me realize that we’re all human and we can’t be expected to know absolutely everything. It encouraged me to ask more questions not only when I didn’t know something but also when I wanted to improve my work, and that’s how I started to grow within my field.
As soon as you realize that asking questions will actually help you become a better professional, you’ll realize just how important it can be for your career growth. So, look at things realistically—not from an insecure perspective—and it may help you.
Lauren Carlstrom, COO, Oxygen Plus
Recognize the opportunity to enhance team productivity
As a leader in the design field, a mentor on ADP List, and a founder, I understand the importance of asking questions at work. The ability to ask questions can lead to more productive teamwork, which means faster task completion for businesses and goal achievement.
During my career, I went from not asking questions at an early level to asking questions whenever I have a doubt in my current roles. This change has significantly impacted my work. Knowing exactly what to do and what businesses expect from my end solutions has improved my design speed, understanding of the product, and the long-term goals of executives.
Today, mentoring mentees worldwide and being the founder of the UX Designers Club, I often hear from my mentees that they are sometimes afraid to ask questions of their management. They think that they would look incompetent, so it’s better to remain silent and hope that everything will be okay. In reality, such logic is flawed and can decrease not only productivity but also the final outcome for the whole team.
Based on my experience, I always advise asking questions early on, before the design process starts, so that the business gets the exact outcome and within the deadline. The ability to ask questions at the right time and in the right manner is important for the business. This is why managers always ask their team members if there are any open questions. Daily standups and weekly roundups are great ways to ensure that each team member doesn’t have any misunderstandings and can continue with their work.
Olha Bahaieva, Lead UX&UI Designer, Dish
Focus on curiosity, not fear
Speaking up and asking questions is an essential skill for gathering additional information, clarifying expectations, and exploring a topic from different perspectives. Those who are clear in their requests and who ask a lot of questions become more effective leaders. When we focus on our fear—fear of being ridiculed, fear of not having the answers—we tend to hold back from speaking up. Instead, focus on the reason for the question and being curious as opposed to worrying about what others will think.
Ask questions to gain information or to wonder what the other person is thinking. People like to be asked; they like to feel important, and discussing a topic enables them to further develop their ideas as they speak aloud.
Make a statement first: “That is interesting. Can you tell me more about what you had in mind?” If you ask a question about the topic, rather than focusing on yourself or your fear, you come across as interested, and that will be appreciated.
Julie Donley, EdD, executive coach and author, Nurturing Your Success LLC
Foster confidence in smaller settings
Being afraid of asking a question, or rather asking a wrong question, is an issue that I’ve noticed not just new joiners struggle with, but also seasoned employees. It might indicate a problem with the workplace culture where employees aren’t made to feel comfortable enough to voice their opinions/questions. This is why at our startup we go the extra mile to foster a culture of open dialogue and curiosity. We have established a work buddy system where each employee has a designated person they can reach out to for discussing any small to big problem they may face at work.
But sometimes, not being able to ask or speak openly at the workplace might be more of a personal issue for an employee. Here’s what I would advise them to overcome this fear: If you feel too overwhelmed by the thought of asking questions during formal meetings in front of a lot of people, opt for smaller, less formal settings, like one-on-one private meetings with relevant people. It could be your manager, team member, or work buddy. If your question is directed towards an individual, you can approach them one-on-one for a discussion. Prepare and write down your questions in advance before the meeting, so that you can articulate your thoughts and clarify your doubts clearly.
Practice this to slowly cultivate a habit of asking the necessary questions. Always remember that doing so is helping you do your job better. Build your confidence, so that you can eventually move on to larger meetings/forums.
Astha Verma, cofounder and CEO, WrittenlyHub
Accept the Need to Learn
Get over it. You need to learn and your employer needs you to learn. Unless you’re dealing with an abusive boss who demeans you for asking questions, accept what you don’t know and start asking questions when you need to. And if the problem is you get demeaned for asking, consider finding a position somewhere that appreciates you better.
Christopher Olson, chief financial officer, Surfside Services, LLC
Build self-confidence and communication skills
When we think of emotions, many people believe they are things you can simply prevent from happening. Research has shown us time and again that emotions are chemical reactions in our nervous systems. They involve neurotransmitters like dopamine and serotonin.
Whether we realize it or not, they simply happen. It is our thoughts and behaviors around them that we can begin to work through because it is simply impossible to just leave emotions behind when they are a natural part of us.
Fear is one such emotion. When we look at fear differently and begin to ask what message it is sending us, we can identify why it is so hard for us to do things like simply asking questions at work. What’s the data behind the fear? Have you been shut down the majority of the time when you tried to speak up in your life, or have you been treated as though your thoughts don’t matter? When we begin to build our self-confidence, we can start to tackle fears at work.
As we also build our vocabulary and expand our ability to communicate effectively, we can become more confident in the way we ask questions and in determining whether or not the timing is right to do so. Staying silent at work is not helpful. Curiosity breeds innovation and growth. Imagine if the manufacturers of certain soda pops never asked the question, “What would happen if we experimented with new flavors?” We’d live in a pretty bland world.
Aleasa Word, DEI consultant and executive coach consultant, A. Word & Company
Leverage curiosity as an asset
Rather than succumbing to the fear of asking questions, recognize that your curiosity is a powerful asset. Some of the most significant discoveries began with someone coming up with questions no one dared to raise. In your next meeting, throw out those questions and explain why you’re asking to give context about your thought process.
In one of our recent team discussions, an intriguing idea surfaced: What if we introduced a “story mode” for email campaigns? Users would receive a sequence of emails that collectively told a narrative or shared content like chapters in a story. The team member behind the idea argued that it could captivate users’ attention over a series of emails rather than just one.
We gave it a shot, and the engagement metrics were off the charts. Users eagerly awaited each email to see the next development in the story. This taught us that thinking beyond the conventional can sometimes lead to innovative approaches that resonate with our audience in unexpected ways.
Lilia Tovbin, founder and CEO, BigMailer.io
Reframe questions to show engagement
From my experience, the fear of asking questions often comes from the fear of appearing uninformed. A trick I have learned is to frame your question to show your understanding of the topic as you seek further clarification. This approach shows you are actively engaged and enthusiastic to learn more.
For example, instead of asking, “I don’t understand this,” you can rephrase it to “From my understanding, we do A and B, but how does C fit into this?” Reframe your fear, and instead of thinking that if you ask questions, you’ll appear dumb, think of it as a chance to grow and learn new things. It is also important to surround yourself with supportive and curious colleagues, as they will positively reinforce your willingness to ask questions.
Lev Tretyakov, CEO and sales director, Fortador
Shift beliefs to alleviate fear
When someone is afraid to ask questions at work, it points to a negative belief they have about themselves. One can give a million tips, but until those beliefs are worked with and shifted, the change won’t be permanent, and the fear will persist.
Some of the core beliefs the person may have are: “I’m not good/smart enough,” or “My question is not important/valuable,” or “I am not an expert, and my answer won’t be perfect,” etc. When I work with clients who are afraid, I start by helping them shift their beliefs and inner story.
Lubna Forzley, founder and CEO, Stories
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