Why Cats Will Never Be Good At Internet Marketing

March 30, 2015

cat copywriterIt’s no secret that cats are temperamental and can be self-serving – which is why they would make terrible marketers. Remember that time you left the bathroom door open and the toilet paper was torn to shreds? Is that what you want your cat doing to your blog? Making it a virtual shredded toilet roll? Still not convinced you can’t teach your cat the chore of writing your blog regardless? Don’t worry. Being on the fence about friendly help from your feline companion is a hard pill to swallow. Here are a few reasons you might not want to hand over that guest blog just yet:

  1. Cats will just have content about mice, tuna and how they are superior to dogs. All they are selling is self-serving content and no one wants to hear all of that. Obviously, it’s about writing what people want to know, need to know, and saying it in a way they want to read it. Even though you want to believe your cat knows it, they don’t. You have to take the lead on this one.
  2. Cats don’t care about data. Have you ever seen a cat push something off of the table no matter how breakable or full of liquid it was? Some cats just want to watch the world burn, and your blog would fall straight into that category. Don’t be a dumb dumb – use the data to give your blog more substance and creditability instead of doing things to make people angry.
  3. They poke their nose where it doesn’t belong, i.e., rubs their face on stuff. You know it’s not okay to start fights with other bloggers, but your cats don’t care about the rules of the trade. They want to know everyone’s business, and that’s something you just can’t have. You know it has to be about the subject matter, and you can’t make it personal. Cats don’t understand that concept.
  4. The catnaps aren’t just a distraction; they are a hindrance on any productivity. You can’t get things done but writing one sentence, chasing a string, and then sleeping for 3 hours. A cat thinks he can and will continue to think that until the day he is no longer able to play with lasers. Again, it’s about focus, attention, and discipline when you sit down to write that blog. Cat hears ya… cat don’t care.

Look, no one is trying to tell you how to live your life or your cat’s life. These are just come helpful tips on why, maybe, the cat isn’t the best go-to choice for those pieces on data, S.E.O., or content. Make the decision based on human instincts, not feline ones.

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