— June 11, 2019
A massive mistake entrepreneurs make on social media when they try to connect to others privately is making it all about themselves and their business. (Especially and unfortunately often seen in the world of coaches trying to build their practises online.)
They send you their first message and straight up ask you to go watch their videos or go join their group, or simply send you a big elevator pitch kind of intro. Or worst of all, they start sharing their posts and videos with you in private messages, tag you in their posts (alongside 100 other poor souls) and in general do everything that screams – “Look at me! I want something from you!”
If you ever, even unknowingly have been behaving that way, you must stop this nonsense immediately!
Yes, you possess the gift that can transform people’s lives. Yes, you can be an exceptional person to follow or learn from. But that does not matter to anyone (except you) simply because everyone only truly cares about themselves.
Including you. It is in human nature.
And therefore, a much wiser way to project yourself to the world and particularly on social media, and even more so if you are hoping to attract some clients into your business or to get help from someone ahead of you is to MAKE IT ALL ABOUT THEM.
Every person you come across will put their needs above yours, so if you are acting in a “demanding attention” way, their first reaction is: what’s in it for me?
Even if you think you are just asking for a small favour or feedback and it is not a big deal, you are missing a huge point.
Before you can ask, you need to GIVE. Build relationships, acknowledge the real person behind the profile picture, or if you are reaching out to an expert, acknowledge that their time is valuable to you and you do not expect any favours.
The first impression you make with your message is crucial. You can forever repel someone who could have helped you or who could have become your client just by behaving in a very self-centred manner the very first time you spoke. That critical opportunity to really connect is exceptionally fragile. Studies by John Cacioppo, Ph.D. (Ohio State University) demonstrated that the brain reacts more strongly to stimuli it deems negative. Make that negative first impression – and lose them forever.
Stop destroying potential relationships and start embracing a better – much more GIVING approach.
Spend a few minutes chatting.
Pay a compliment.
See if there are more things in common than meets the eye. Make the other person feel special, particularly if you want anything from them, (especially any free advice if you are reaching out to an expert).
I promise this will get you much further – sometimes, even more than you could imagine.
This approach will stop the thought”what is in it for me?” crossing their mind. And opens the doors to something potentially very beautiful.