Have you ever been called on in a meeting when you didn’t expect it, or been asked to contribute to a presentation without being warned? A sudden request can give even the most confident person a jolt of panic. Still, it’s possible to get better at thinking on your feet, says Matt Abrahams, author of Think Faster, Talk Smarter: How to Speak Successfully When You’re Put on the Spot and host of the Think Fast, Talk Smart podcast.
“We see many of these spontaneous speaking circumstances as threats and challenges to us,” he says. “When somebody asks us a question, we feel like we’re being tested. We often become very defensive, which works against the ability to speak well in the moment.”
The challenge for most people in all communication—planned and spontaneous—is anxiety, says Abrahams, who lectures on strategic communication at Stanford Graduate School of Business.
“We get very nervous in the circumstances when we have to get up in front of others,” he says. “The other challenge is our mindset. Many of us want to perform at our best when we’re being judged or evaluated. When we focus on doing it right, we put a tremendous amount of pressure on ourselves.”
Abrahams says there are six steps to become better at thinking on your feet. The first four focus on mindset, while the last two focus on the message.
1. Manage Anxiety
To feel more comfortable and confident, you need to turn down the volume on anxiety. To do this, Abrahams says you must deal with both the symptoms and the sources.
“Symptoms are the physiological and mental responses, and the sources are the underlying things that initiate or exacerbate our anxiety,” he explains.
For example, anxiety symptoms often include heart palpitations and shallow breath. The sources of anxiety are often tied to the goal you want to achieve. If you’re an entrepreneur, your goal may be to get the funding. Pitching your business plan to investors and not achieving that goal is the source of your anxiety.
Abrahams says he doesn’t believe you can truly overcome your anxiety around speaking. “I think the best we can hope for is managing,” he says. “Deep breathing is one of the best tools for this. The rule of thumb is you want your exhale to be twice as long as your inhale. That slows down your autonomic nervous system.”
2. Get Out of Perfection Mindset
It’s not about getting things exactly right; it’s about connecting with goals, says Abrahams. “Spontaneous speaking is to connect in the moment and respond to what’s needed, rather than give the perfect response,” he says.
Aim for imperfection instead. Train yourself to quiet down your critical evaluation in the moment. This shift helps lower your stress level so you can accomplish your communication goals. If you can make that mental flip, it takes a lot of pressure off, says Abrahams.
3. Reframe the Situation
Instead of thinking something is a challenge or threat, Abrahams says to reframe it as an opportunity.
“When somebody asks me a question, it’s actually an opportunity to expand, to collaborate, to extend what it is I’ve said, and to search for areas of agreement,” he says. “If you make this mental switch, it helps you because it puts you in collaboration with the people you’re talking about versus becoming defensive.”
4. Listen Differently
Most of us are very poor listeners, hearing just enough to get the gist of what somebody is saying, says Abrahams. We’re starting to formulate our response, judging and evaluating the moment.
“You need to listen very acutely to make sure that you understand what’s needed,” he explains. “It’s not just the words. It’s how they said the words. It’s my instinctive reaction to those words. That’s the type of deep listening we need to do. Because in the moment, you have to make very quick choices of how to respond.”
5. Craft the Message
The fifth step is appreciating how structure liberates you to communicate well. “Structure is nothing more than a logical connection of ideas,” says Abrahams. “Structure actually enables you to be more spontaneous, which is one of the many ironies.”
Structure can be “problem, solution, and benefit.” Another structure is “situation, task, action, result.” Or you can use “compare, contrast, conclude.”
“Most of us when we speak in the moment just list information,” says Abrahams. “A list is really hard for our brains to process. For example, jazz musicians don’t just play random notes. They actually follow specific structures and chord progressions. Because they know those, they can then play them freely.”
Having a regular structure for answering questions can help you better convey your ideas.
6. Stay Focused
The final step is focus. “Many of us, when we speak spontaneously ramble because we’re discovering what we want to say as we’re saying,” says Abrahams. “Being concise is really important, especially in the virtual age when we’re doing a lot of things remotely.”
It’s okay to pause before you answer to collect your thoughts. Then, focus on what’s most important for your audience to know, being aware of what you want them to feel and do.
While you can hope you never get called on to think on your feet, it’s better to embrace the possibility and prepare.
“There are many people who have restricted their opportunities because of their concerns about speaking well and appropriately in the moment,” says Abrahams. “I believe everybody has something important to contribute into our social dialogue and feeling more comfortable speaking in the moment, can help. To become better at it better equips you to get your point across but also to be a better listener, friend, partner, colleague, [and] boss because you’re able to respond appropriately in the moment.”
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